This latest Chakra Talk group we’re covering the emotions. And I thought it would all just come pouring out of me no problem. I thought the lecture part of the classes would be clear and I figured the write-ups after the fact would be simple and concise.
Not so. Speaking on the emotions is tough. It usually happens that I do my research for the week and by the time the group comes over to my place I am ready to rock. This course has been more challenging. I’m finding myself struggling to string sentences together, referring to my notes more than usual.
E, my mentor/therapist/amazing shaman woman says that when we have a hard time putting words to ideas, memories or emotions it’s a clue to just how close to home the subject matter is. And this is so true when it comes to me and my emotions.
I always just assumed that I was in touch with my emotions. Because I am a woman. Because I am a woman of a certain age with certain experiences, I assumed that I had a strong sense of emotional intelligence. But as I teach these Chakra courses, each time we get to the second chakra and begin the discussion on emotions I’m reminded of just how out of touch I am.
Let’s be clear on one thing. Being emotional does not equate to having emotional intelligence.
I feel. I feel a lot. But I’m not always in touch with what exactly I’m feeling. And being out of touch with what it is I’m feeling, I have a hard time properly expressing my emotions. This sort of bottled up repressed state feels a lot like entrapment. And like a tiger in a cage can lead to all sorts of rage.
Rage! Rage is at the extreme end of anger. This week we covered anger and while we were talking about anger there were a lot of head nods and understanding into the concept of anger. But when it was all said and done a lot of the girls said that of all the emotions they feel the most out of touch with anger. Especially as a woman. That they understand the idea of anger, but that expressing it hasn’t always been encouraged. That shouting out your needs in the middle of the street isn’t very lady-like.
From all the reading I’ve done on anger, each writer started off by saying that anger is a natural, healthy emotion. This is coming up a lot in discussion. That each of these emotions serve a purpose. And that in a healthy dose, when felt and processed can act as teacher and guide and help us establish our wants, needs, and boundaries.
It’s when we let these emotions get the best of us that we run into trouble. Either through being highly sensitive and quick to anger, or by suppressing this shit and stewing in it.
We all feel anger. There is no doubt about that. It’s what we do with the anger that differs from person to person.
Some, feel anger, and right then and there in the moment process and express. In a respectful manner express their anger and what their needs are. Good for you. You’ve got your shit together.
Some, feel anger and just stuff it right down. Deep into the body. They stifle the scream, clench their jaw, just boil on the inside, but do whatever they can to stay calm and cool on the outside. This is dangerous!
Some, just fucking rage. So great, you’re expressing yourself, good for you. The intention behind expressing anger is meant to be one of healing rather than harming yourself or others.
Some, feel anger, put it down, but let it come out in other ways; passive aggressive behaviour, sarcasm, disobedience and snide remarks
We may all use some of these tactics at different times, but more than likely there is one tactic that is most prevalent in your life. What is it?
Regardless of how you process anger, it wants to be seen, recognized and moved out of the body. Anger, like fear, has a physiological response, and if you don’t physically charge this shit through the body the chemicals will just sit in your system causing tension and distress. Unexpressed or poorly expressed anger can lead to high blood pressure, hyper tension and depression.
So, begin the process of seeing anger as you feel it. Label your anger as anger. Give yourself permission to feel this anger. And then move this out of your body. The idea is to feel it all. To drop right in to the full experience of life without holding on, without these emotions and experiences imprinting into our bodies. (but this is a whole other post).
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Let me know how you know anger. How you process it. How you express yourself.