Fire and Embers



I sat down to write about courage.  Courage and faith.  But all that came out was fire.  Fire and embers.  So here it is.

We stoke the fire to uncover.  We stoke the fire so that we can see what it is that we need to face.  We stoke the fire so that we can burn through the things that are standing in our way.  And when the fire is lit it takes us into action.  We have those big conversations.  We open up to those big tears. There is this big flame that is lighting us up from the inside and we stay in movement to keep it stoked.

This flame is like a campfire.  And we are sitting around the fire with our friends and foes.  The real and imagined.

We’re there with every failed relationship, every challenge left unmet, every word we didn’t say, every action we’ve regretted.  All the ideas we’ve held about ourselves and about the world.  We’re all there, just sitting around this bright flame hashing it out.

The night goes by, maybe we’re there for days or weeks or months.  As long as someone is there to stoke this fire it will continue to grow and will continue to draw a crowd.  At some point, it’s time to call it a day.  The last piece of wood has been burned and we sit and watch the flame burn to embers.  We go home.  We sit.  We absorb what has been done.  The lessons that have been learned, and those that are yet to come.  We’re with the embers.

The coals smolder as do your thoughts.  As do all the ideas you’ve held so long about who you are and who you are meant to be.  About the great love that you were meant to have.  About the house and the dog and the three barefoot babies that are meant to be running wild and free.  In the embers, we face the reality of the situation.  And in this moment we have a choice.  To stay.  To sit with the discomfort.  To face where you are.  The dreams met and those that seem lost among the wind.  Or to throw more wood on the fire and keep on digging.

Among the embers we face what it means to be human.  That we will desire.  And we will lose.  We will want.  And we will fail.  And neither of these things is better.  And none of these things hold more weight.  That no one thing is more important than the next.

That each and every moment that passes through our lives is meant to be lived.  We are not meant to skip over the transitions merely to get through to the next big thing.  Each and every encounter holds meaning.  Every activity of your day holds purpose.  Making your bed, brushing your teeth, pouring a cup of tea.  All pieces in this very unique puzzle that makes up your life.  So drop in.  Slow down.  Do not rush through these bits as mundane necessities of every day life.  These are the basics that make up your survival.  And if we do not celebrate these than what is it all for.  If we’re just waiting for the next big thing, the birth announcement, the wedding date, the funeral times, than we’re missing the whole point.  It’s all of the little things in-between that make up a full life.

And we see these things in the embers.  We get to dance with the devil as we walk across the coals.  We’re able to go through life, not unscathed, but unshakeable.  We begin to see who we are at the core.  At the core of our being.  We are not the fancy car or the pretty in pink birthday party.  We are raw and real and full of love and heartbreak and nights spent alone on the couch and babies with fevers and missed commitments due to sick parents.  This is what makes a full life.  Are you ready to move slow enough to feel this.  To experience this.  Not for you, but for me.  For all of us.  Because we are all one.  Of the same breath.  I breathe, you breathe, the birds, the bees, the trees, all an exchange of energy.  Can you slow down long enough to see this.  To feel this.  To know this.

Will you come to dance with me among the flames.  To plan and dream and hug and kiss but to know when the time is right to call it a night.  To burn the last log and let the fire smolder.  And here will you sit with me still.  Will you hold my hand.  Look up to the moon.  Count each of the stars and reminisce of the time that we got it all wrong.  Because this is a love story all along.  It’s always been a story of love.  It’s a story of you and me.  About how we came to be so free.  Baby we’re not there yet.  But it’s coming.  The truth is in the embers.  This heat is uncomfortable.  It’s scary.  It’s so very red and it’s so fucking hot.  But freedom.  There is so much freedom on the other side of this.  Are you able to sit with me long enough to get there.  Long enough to realize what this has all been for.  Long enough to know that we’ve been here before.  That we’ve gone round this fire many times before, but that this is the burning.   The final burning round and round that it all ends here.  Whatever it is we came in here with.  It’s coming to an end.  We are so close.  Just keep going.  Keep going with me.  We’ll get there one day and we’ll be so fucking free.

I love you.

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